Dear: Better not be named ( you know who you are)
getting over some1 you love..
either they died or leave or broke your heart..
yup.. not easy..
it takes time...
and finally last week i started to realized that i don't mind that i'm not yours anymore..
you lost me when you broke my heart..
and i'm no longer in your grasp like how i used to be..
and i hope that your friends that you care soo much to protect (especially miera shayunk)
rather than your girlfriend's feelings (well ex-girlfriend now) can make you happy..
(yup i really meant it that you should be with her..you openly said that you SAYANG her in fb and let her put a picture of both of you..people even asked you guys to get married..while at that time i was still your girlfriend..don't you ever think how that would make me feel??yeah such an ass)
(you broke my heart..if you think that i was being so0 dramatic..then you're just being a big fat ass jerk)
its too late to apologize
(which u only apologized once..and it was long after i broke up with you..it doesn't mean a thing anymore)
wish you all the best.
(take good care of your friends that you cherish and love soo much)
Sincerely,
STRAWBERRY WALTZ ILLUMINATION
Thursday, December 29
Tuesday, November 22
Behind this Hazel Eyes
Seems like just yesterday
you were apart of me
i used to stand so tall
i used to be so strong
your arms around me tight
everything it felt so right
unbreakable like nothing could go wrong
now i can't breath
no i can't sleep
i'm barely hanging on
here i am once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up deep inside
but you won't get to see the tears i cry
behind this hazel eyes.
i told you everything
open up and let you in
you made me feel alright for once in my life
now all that's left of me
is what i pretend to be
so together, but so broken up inside
swallow me then spit me out
for hating you i blame myself
seeing you it kills me now
no i don't cry
on the outside
anymore
here i am once again
i'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up deep inside
but you won't get to see the tears i cry
behind this hazel eyes
kelly clarkson
Wednesday, November 9
Must Have Been Love
Lay a whisper on my pillow
Leave the winter on the ground
Awake up lonely
Is there a silence
In my bedroom and all around
Soo touch me now
I close my eyes and dream away
It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good but i lost it some how
Make believing we're together
As i'm sheltered by your heart
And it's a hard winter's day
I dream away
It must have been love but it's over now
It's all that i wanted, but i'm leaving without
It must have been love but it's over now
It's where the water flows
It's where the wind blows
Leave the winter on the ground
Awake up lonely
Is there a silence
In my bedroom and all around
Soo touch me now
I close my eyes and dream away
It must have been love but it's over now
It must have been good but i lost it some how
Make believing we're together
As i'm sheltered by your heart
And it's a hard winter's day
I dream away
It must have been love but it's over now
It's all that i wanted, but i'm leaving without
It must have been love but it's over now
It's where the water flows
It's where the wind blows
DREW RYNIEWICZ
if i die young
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand,
There's a boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
Lay me down on a, bed of roses
Sink me in the river, at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,
I've never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand,
There's a boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,
Who would have thought forever could be severed by
The sharp knife of a short life, well,
I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
What I never did is done
A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'
If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket
Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh
The sharp knife of a short life, well
I've had just enough time
So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls
THE BAND PERRY
Wednesday, June 29
If it was easy..
if it was easy to control my feelings..
not to be sad..
that would be nice..
if is was that easy to change how i feel..
from being sad to happy..
that would be splendid..
if it was that easy not to cry..
and always smile..
that would be great..
if it was that easy..
but..
it's easier to fake and pretend..
wish i could run away..
ran as fast and far away as i can
leave everything behind..
and start life all over again..
not taking chances..
never wonder or hoping on some thing that can never be done..
stop believing in something that could never change..
not living in anyone else's shadow..
not being anyone else's second choice..
if it was that easy..
not to be sad..
that would be nice..
if is was that easy to change how i feel..
from being sad to happy..
that would be splendid..
if it was that easy not to cry..
and always smile..
that would be great..
if it was that easy..
but..
it's easier to fake and pretend..
wish i could run away..
ran as fast and far away as i can
leave everything behind..
and start life all over again..
not taking chances..
never wonder or hoping on some thing that can never be done..
stop believing in something that could never change..
not living in anyone else's shadow..
not being anyone else's second choice..
and make people love me for me..
and only me..
if it was that easy..
Tuesday, June 21
bored...
hey..
i'm bored..
in the office..
don't know what to do...
life here is a bit boring..
nothing much to do..
no excitement..
plain old government office..
right now i'm listening to glee - get it right..
love that song..
it brings a lot of meaning..
and i think maybe it kinda does relate to me a bit..
especially right now...
with all the problems that i'm having..
what can you do if your good is not good enough??
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
well everyone has their own problems right..i'm so0 freaking bored here..
I've done all my work..
I've even have wrote down in my log book on what i have done for today..
which is not a lot..
calculating the cost of a house for two lots..
nothing exciting..
boring...
nothing much to say though..
tired + bored = fbing n blogging
i'm so0 bored..i don't know what to write anymore..(-_-")
i'm bored..
in the office..
don't know what to do...
life here is a bit boring..
nothing much to do..
no excitement..
plain old government office..
right now i'm listening to glee - get it right..
love that song..
it brings a lot of meaning..
and i think maybe it kinda does relate to me a bit..
especially right now...
with all the problems that i'm having..
what can you do if your good is not good enough??
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
well everyone has their own problems right..i'm so0 freaking bored here..
I've done all my work..
I've even have wrote down in my log book on what i have done for today..
which is not a lot..
calculating the cost of a house for two lots..
nothing exciting..
boring...
nothing much to say though..
tired + bored = fbing n blogging
i'm so0 bored..i don't know what to write anymore..(-_-")
Wednesday, June 15
no wonder...
why do gurls drive like ***
just a few hours a go i was on my way back home..
when this gurl who was driving behind a lorry at the middle lane (i was in the right lane)
suddenly decides in the last minute to cut infront of me..
what an ***..
i have do break so0 hard that the tires shriek...
she is such an ***
i nearly hit the road divider...
and then after she did that..
she thought that she can out ran me...(yeah she should think again)
i still remember her number plate BHQ 7890..
it was a viva...
and then when i drove next to her..
she makes this ugly face that she's sorry??
yeah she should think before she did that..
i think she was younger than me...
to0 guys and gurls that really2 don't know how to drive...
PLEASE STAY OFF THE ROAD!!!!!
don't endanger peoples live with you reckless driving...
just a few hours a go i was on my way back home..
when this gurl who was driving behind a lorry at the middle lane (i was in the right lane)
suddenly decides in the last minute to cut infront of me..
what an ***..
i have do break so0 hard that the tires shriek...
she is such an ***
i nearly hit the road divider...
and then after she did that..
she thought that she can out ran me...(yeah she should think again)
i still remember her number plate BHQ 7890..
it was a viva...
and then when i drove next to her..
she makes this ugly face that she's sorry??
yeah she should think before she did that..
i think she was younger than me...
to0 guys and gurls that really2 don't know how to drive...
PLEASE STAY OFF THE ROAD!!!!!
don't endanger peoples live with you reckless driving...
Wednesday, May 11
Get It Right
What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
Away from this ship goin' under
Just tryin' to help, hurt everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is
On my shoulders
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Can I start again with my faith shaken?
'Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes
But if I get stronger and wiser
I'll get through this
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
So I throw up my fist
Throw a punch in the air
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
Yeah, I'll send down a wish
Yeah, I'll send up a prayer
And finally, someone will see
How much I care!
What can you do when your good isn't good enough?
When all that you touch tumbles down?
'Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many it times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me?
To get it right
To get it ri-igh-ight
Glee Cast
Life As We Live
well i think you know well about the phrase
"when life give you lemons, you make lemonade" right??
well this is not about that..
not remotely near to that phrase..
life..
it's hard right??
sometimes i wish that it's easy and i have all the answers to my problems...
when life makes me cho0se between lemons and apples...
yeah i know you guys know that apple is far much better than a lemon...
sometimes i don't know why i cho0se lemons..
even i know that lemons are not as go0d as apples are...
why do life make us cho0se??
is it to challenge us??
to force us make mistakes and learn from them??
or is it just a way to live??
why can it be simple..
easy..just one thing offered...
no need to cho0se..
wouldn't it be great??
everybody would be happy..
no one would get hurt
and life would be much more worth living..wouldn't it??
well maybe choices is the best way to learn..
make mistakes...
make fools of yourself..
and make you wonder of what you cho0se..
is it right??
is it the best choice??
is it safe??
would it make you happy??
would you be able o live life after cho0sing it??
well..i sometimes hate wondering..
i wish i don't have to pick..
i wish i would just get the best out of everything..
and getting so without picking or cho0sing between other options.
i wish that sometimes that it was that easy..
given and not need to cho0se..
i wanna life that is worth living..
a life that would make everybody happy.
it is not that i don't value my life right now..
just that i wish it was far easier..
and i really2 don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings right now..
life..
so0 hard..
so0 sophisticated..
so0 unfair..
but i guess that is life..
a life that we all have to live in..
a life that we all should be great full for..
a life that we should cherish more..
cause we are given only one life to live..
love life...
"when life give you lemons, you make lemonade" right??
well this is not about that..
not remotely near to that phrase..
life..
it's hard right??
sometimes i wish that it's easy and i have all the answers to my problems...
when life makes me cho0se between lemons and apples...
yeah i know you guys know that apple is far much better than a lemon...
sometimes i don't know why i cho0se lemons..
even i know that lemons are not as go0d as apples are...
why do life make us cho0se??
is it to challenge us??
to force us make mistakes and learn from them??
or is it just a way to live??
why can it be simple..
easy..just one thing offered...
no need to cho0se..
wouldn't it be great??
everybody would be happy..
no one would get hurt
and life would be much more worth living..wouldn't it??
well maybe choices is the best way to learn..
make mistakes...
make fools of yourself..
and make you wonder of what you cho0se..
is it right??
is it the best choice??
is it safe??
would it make you happy??
would you be able o live life after cho0sing it??
well..i sometimes hate wondering..
i wish i don't have to pick..
i wish i would just get the best out of everything..
and getting so without picking or cho0sing between other options.
i wish that sometimes that it was that easy..
given and not need to cho0se..
i wanna life that is worth living..
a life that would make everybody happy.
it is not that i don't value my life right now..
just that i wish it was far easier..
and i really2 don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings right now..
life..
so0 hard..
so0 sophisticated..
so0 unfair..
but i guess that is life..
a life that we all have to live in..
a life that we all should be great full for..
a life that we should cherish more..
cause we are given only one life to live..
love life...
Saturday, April 30
how do they do it????
how do they do it??
having a very long relationship..
more than a year..
how could they cope??
like the first few months..
yeah they are great..
the honeymo0n phase..
everything seems great..
even their flaws..
you can see pass through it..
but when you've start fighting..
it won't stop..
and little by little you see all the flaws.
and the things that you hate about them..
that makes you think that why did you agree at first to be in the relationship with that someone..
that is usually what happens to me..
at first everything seems greats..
and when i've started to get board or someone pissed me off..
yeah the fights starts..
the hating starts..
the saying bad things about that person starts..
and the frustration starts..
depression..
yeah that to0..
relationship is a very hard thing.
trying to be understanding..
and wanting that other person to understand..
yeah that is hard..
it's hard...
usually people don't really know what you want in a relationship..
and what people want..
maybe you love them..
but they don't love you as much..
or they love you like crazy..
but you don't love them that much..
that is usually what happens in a relationship..
that's why things started to go wrong..
very2 wrong..
when one party doesn't care as much..
yeah it hurts the other party..
sometimes people don't care..
even they are so0 called you boyfriend or girlfriend...
i think to have a long lasting relationship..
you have to find someone that love you as much as you love them..
yeah i know..it's hard..
but it's not impossible right..
there must be that perfect someone for everyone..
someone that understands you..
that accepts you for who you are..
your flaws..
your craziness..
and in my case I'm a little bit of a perfectionist..
i like everything to be a little bit like perfect..
i don't want it to be all perfect..
but i'm just like that..
i like to do things by the book..
plan things before it happens..(even if it doesn't happens)
it is just me..
i like doing things and perfecting it..
making things perfect even if i know they aren't
that is just me..
aside of me..that people sometimes doesn't see..
if you see me co0king, doing a model for someone, baking, ironing and just about anything people would see it
but maybe sometimes people just overlooked about it..
i'm sorry that i'm a bit of a perfectionist..
and sometimes i make people feel uncomfortable about it..
but that is just me..
i want everyday to be like sunshine in a rainy day..
i don't mean it sometimes..
but that is really2 just me..
hope people know at least a bit about me..
well i'm not going to tell everything about me..
let everything else be a mystery to you guys for now..
i love being a realtionship..
having a very long relationship..
more than a year..
how could they cope??
like the first few months..
yeah they are great..
the honeymo0n phase..
everything seems great..
even their flaws..
you can see pass through it..
but when you've start fighting..
it won't stop..
and little by little you see all the flaws.
and the things that you hate about them..
that makes you think that why did you agree at first to be in the relationship with that someone..
that is usually what happens to me..
at first everything seems greats..
and when i've started to get board or someone pissed me off..
yeah the fights starts..
the hating starts..
the saying bad things about that person starts..
and the frustration starts..
depression..
yeah that to0..
relationship is a very hard thing.
trying to be understanding..
and wanting that other person to understand..
yeah that is hard..
it's hard...
usually people don't really know what you want in a relationship..
and what people want..
maybe you love them..
but they don't love you as much..
or they love you like crazy..
but you don't love them that much..
that is usually what happens in a relationship..
that's why things started to go wrong..
very2 wrong..
when one party doesn't care as much..
yeah it hurts the other party..
sometimes people don't care..
even they are so0 called you boyfriend or girlfriend...
i think to have a long lasting relationship..
you have to find someone that love you as much as you love them..
yeah i know..it's hard..
but it's not impossible right..
there must be that perfect someone for everyone..
someone that understands you..
that accepts you for who you are..
your flaws..
your craziness..
and in my case I'm a little bit of a perfectionist..
i like everything to be a little bit like perfect..
i don't want it to be all perfect..
but i'm just like that..
i like to do things by the book..
plan things before it happens..(even if it doesn't happens)
it is just me..
i like doing things and perfecting it..
making things perfect even if i know they aren't
that is just me..
aside of me..that people sometimes doesn't see..
if you see me co0king, doing a model for someone, baking, ironing and just about anything people would see it
but maybe sometimes people just overlooked about it..
i'm sorry that i'm a bit of a perfectionist..
and sometimes i make people feel uncomfortable about it..
but that is just me..
i want everyday to be like sunshine in a rainy day..
i don't mean it sometimes..
but that is really2 just me..
hope people know at least a bit about me..
well i'm not going to tell everything about me..
let everything else be a mystery to you guys for now..
i love being a realtionship..
Saturday, April 9
Bye2
hey guys..
i think i'm gonna stop for a while..
a bit bz with everything dat is going on..
and i have an exam coming up..
so0 bye2..
c u after my exam..
which is on the 22nd this April
i think i'm gonna stop for a while..
a bit bz with everything dat is going on..
and i have an exam coming up..
so0 bye2..
c u after my exam..
which is on the 22nd this April
Wednesday, April 6
Hate it!!!
hey peeps..
today i found out that guy hates girls who drive faster than them..
actually i've known it for a while..
but today..just make me realize..yup its true..
some guys ( not all by the way)
thinks that they are better drivers than girls..
well not true...
guys who thinks that they are better driver are usually obsessed with winning
if a girl drive faster of cuts them..Because the guy is driving slowly..
they would do anything just to prove that they can drive faster..
guys like this are morons..
they risks peoples lives just to prove that..
yeah..
so0 immature..
and not to mention idiots..
like just now i cut a guy cause he was driving so0 slow in the right lane..
and what he did was..he drive on the left lane and try driving faster than me..
and then just cut in front of me while he was risking his friends life..
if i drove a little bit faster he could have hit a lorry which was in front of him..
or he could have risking the passengers in his car and in mine if he didn't have the space to avoid the lorry..
see..not all guys are good drivers..
some are just careless and stupid to realize what they are doing is endangering peoples life..
a go0d driver is not a girl or a guy..
a go0d driver cares for other peoples life and their own..
doesn't mean you are driving slowly that you are a go0d driver..
sometimes people who drive fast are go0d drivers..
and accidents mostly happens are not cause by fast drivers..
but accidents are caused by immature, careless and slow drivers..
owh before i forget..
i saw the car in front of me hit a cow today..
that poor cow...
the cow didn't died though..
maybe it had a headache since that car hit its head..
the car didn't stop though..
the driver didn't even stop to check the car..
huhu..
it was terrifying..
seeing a car hit a cow..
huhu..
thank god i was able to stop the car before we got any closer
huhu..
thank god we weren't harmed in any way..
after the cow got hit..
he got up and walked away..
huhu..
that is all i think..
that happened today..
hehe
today i found out that guy hates girls who drive faster than them..
actually i've known it for a while..
but today..just make me realize..yup its true..
some guys ( not all by the way)
thinks that they are better drivers than girls..
well not true...
guys who thinks that they are better driver are usually obsessed with winning
if a girl drive faster of cuts them..Because the guy is driving slowly..
they would do anything just to prove that they can drive faster..
guys like this are morons..
they risks peoples lives just to prove that..
yeah..
so0 immature..
and not to mention idiots..
like just now i cut a guy cause he was driving so0 slow in the right lane..
and what he did was..he drive on the left lane and try driving faster than me..
and then just cut in front of me while he was risking his friends life..
if i drove a little bit faster he could have hit a lorry which was in front of him..
or he could have risking the passengers in his car and in mine if he didn't have the space to avoid the lorry..
see..not all guys are good drivers..
some are just careless and stupid to realize what they are doing is endangering peoples life..
a go0d driver is not a girl or a guy..
a go0d driver cares for other peoples life and their own..
doesn't mean you are driving slowly that you are a go0d driver..
sometimes people who drive fast are go0d drivers..
and accidents mostly happens are not cause by fast drivers..
but accidents are caused by immature, careless and slow drivers..
owh before i forget..
i saw the car in front of me hit a cow today..
that poor cow...
the cow didn't died though..
maybe it had a headache since that car hit its head..
the car didn't stop though..
the driver didn't even stop to check the car..
huhu..
it was terrifying..
seeing a car hit a cow..
huhu..
thank god i was able to stop the car before we got any closer
huhu..
thank god we weren't harmed in any way..
after the cow got hit..
he got up and walked away..
huhu..
that is all i think..
that happened today..
hehe
Tuesday, April 5
Haiyo0..~
i went through my stuff just now..
my notes and all..
and i found a note from my ex bf..
and when i red it back..
i was sort of funny
haha..
how naive both of us was back then..
thinking that we were in love
maybe he was in love with me..
but i think back then i was in love with the idea of having a bf..
but i wasn't really in love..
i was in love..i think madly in love though..
haha..
but it wasn't with him..
i guess after i got rejected by that person i love..(yeah you know who you are..hehe..if you're reading this)
(i haven't been rejected by any guy before..so0 maybe that is why i did that)
i tried to find someone that likes me more..than i like him..(my bad..hehe)
i didn't mean like to hurt him and all..
now i am so0 worried that i'm gonna b someone's rebound gf..
but back then i made my ex my rebound bf..
i guess karma catched up 2 me fast..
haha
i guess my ex still holds a grudge on me..
well i don't blame him tough..
based on his note..
he sounds like he has never been in love with anyone before..
huhu..
but he did say that he had a gf before me..
hope he finds someone he loves..
but still reading that note back..
it was pretty funny..
haha..
i know its not nice to laugh..
but still it is funny..
huhu..
but he was an easy target
my notes and all..
and i found a note from my ex bf..
and when i red it back..
i was sort of funny
haha..
how naive both of us was back then..
thinking that we were in love
maybe he was in love with me..
but i think back then i was in love with the idea of having a bf..
but i wasn't really in love..
i was in love..i think madly in love though..
haha..
but it wasn't with him..
i guess after i got rejected by that person i love..(yeah you know who you are..hehe..if you're reading this)
(i haven't been rejected by any guy before..so0 maybe that is why i did that)
i tried to find someone that likes me more..than i like him..(my bad..hehe)
i didn't mean like to hurt him and all..
now i am so0 worried that i'm gonna b someone's rebound gf..
but back then i made my ex my rebound bf..
i guess karma catched up 2 me fast..
haha
i guess my ex still holds a grudge on me..
well i don't blame him tough..
based on his note..
he sounds like he has never been in love with anyone before..
huhu..
but he did say that he had a gf before me..
hope he finds someone he loves..
but still reading that note back..
it was pretty funny..
haha..
i know its not nice to laugh..
but still it is funny..
huhu..
but he was an easy target
Monday, April 4
Lalala (a dash of boring + a hint of craziness = this really unusual post) XD
Hey peeps..
right now..
i'm spacing out on what this post should be named..
think crazy wouldn't cut it though..
haha..
why??
cause right now i'm doing things that usually people don't know how to do..
or may never done in their whole entire life..
what am i doing??
yeah let that be my secret..
it is something easy but i don't think people would ever2 think of doing it though..
may be i'm desperate..
no2..i know what your thinking..
it is not that..
not even close..
haha..
maybe cause of the anti depressant i got 2 days ago got me going this crazy..
haha..
i think when he said he's going to give me antidepressant for my migraine (he meaning the doctor)
made me think am i that depressed??
i am stressed out..but never crossed my mind that i was depressed..
it startled me for a while..i think i spaced out and i didn't hear what he said after that..
all i remembered was he asking me if i was okay..
well the antidepressant did help me with my migraine though..
but still..
i don't have a clue what to give the title for this post..
you guys must think that i'm crazy babbling about what is the title of the post should be while i'm posting it..
maybe i am i just going crazy..
huhu..
i don't know why people think that i don't know how to find them..
like in my ym..this guy by the name jejaka nakal..
he thought that he could fool me..
i'm not stupid..
i know he was someone i knew..
but i didn't knew who it was until i traced it and found that i was my ex..
just cause i'm a girl..i'm not stupid..
i hate that most of my software are gone..(due to formatting my laptop)
i can't do things that i used to..
but still it is not hard to find out things about people..
like a few hours ago..
i found out things that i don't know either it was true or not..
the person who wrote it wasn't that clear about the details..
that person just talk generally about it..
i really wanna know what happened..
but it was to0 general..
i still haven't come up with the title for this post..
should i name it i did a bad thing??
but i didn't did a bad thing..
i did something but i don't think it is bad..
huhu..
i'm at home all alone..
my grandpa went to kl yesterday..
he said that he had business..
yeah..
he's nearly 80..(i don't really know how old he really is..all i know is that he is in his 70's and near to his 80's)
he should stop working..
there is no one he has to support..
he has my grandam's pension..
he should sits at home watch tv or move to kl with his son and watch his grandkids..
why??
well he keeps messing up my name..
he kept calling me tie and rul..i'm not his daughter or son..
since my grandma died at mekah...
he has been like someone who doesn't know where he's going..
he forgot about a lot of things..
he talks to himself..
and sometimes he talks to my late grandma's pictures(omg..that is scary..beyond crazy)
i think that he should get married..
huhu..
i've been hearing Byul - I think i love you since 5 hours ago..
i don't why am i still not bored with that song..
i guess i'm bored anything would do..
i think i know what to put the title of this post..yay!!!
at last i can think now..
i think i should go to sleep..but..
i'm not yet sleepy though..
maybe caused i slept from 5pm till 9 pm..
haha..
i was tired..
and i'm having my period..
so0 it wasn't wrong for me to sleep right..
i know it is not really go0d sleeping through dusk..
but i was tired..(is that a really good reason??haha)
anyway i think i have run out of things to write..(not really..i have alot more..but that's enough for now..)
hope my craziness doesn't rub on u guys..(if that could happen..i think alot of people would be crazy by now..haha)
hope u guys enjoy what i've been babbling about in this post..
hehe..
bye2.. ( for now..hehe.. ;P)
right now..
i'm spacing out on what this post should be named..
think crazy wouldn't cut it though..
haha..
why??
cause right now i'm doing things that usually people don't know how to do..
or may never done in their whole entire life..
what am i doing??
yeah let that be my secret..
it is something easy but i don't think people would ever2 think of doing it though..
may be i'm desperate..
no2..i know what your thinking..
it is not that..
not even close..
haha..
maybe cause of the anti depressant i got 2 days ago got me going this crazy..
haha..
i think when he said he's going to give me antidepressant for my migraine (he meaning the doctor)
made me think am i that depressed??
i am stressed out..but never crossed my mind that i was depressed..
it startled me for a while..i think i spaced out and i didn't hear what he said after that..
all i remembered was he asking me if i was okay..
well the antidepressant did help me with my migraine though..
but still..
i don't have a clue what to give the title for this post..
you guys must think that i'm crazy babbling about what is the title of the post should be while i'm posting it..
maybe i am i just going crazy..
huhu..
i don't know why people think that i don't know how to find them..
like in my ym..this guy by the name jejaka nakal..
he thought that he could fool me..
i'm not stupid..
i know he was someone i knew..
but i didn't knew who it was until i traced it and found that i was my ex..
just cause i'm a girl..i'm not stupid..
i hate that most of my software are gone..(due to formatting my laptop)
i can't do things that i used to..
but still it is not hard to find out things about people..
like a few hours ago..
i found out things that i don't know either it was true or not..
the person who wrote it wasn't that clear about the details..
that person just talk generally about it..
i really wanna know what happened..
but it was to0 general..
i still haven't come up with the title for this post..
should i name it i did a bad thing??
but i didn't did a bad thing..
i did something but i don't think it is bad..
huhu..
i'm at home all alone..
my grandpa went to kl yesterday..
he said that he had business..
yeah..
he's nearly 80..(i don't really know how old he really is..all i know is that he is in his 70's and near to his 80's)
he should stop working..
there is no one he has to support..
he has my grandam's pension..
he should sits at home watch tv or move to kl with his son and watch his grandkids..
why??
well he keeps messing up my name..
he kept calling me tie and rul..i'm not his daughter or son..
since my grandma died at mekah...
he has been like someone who doesn't know where he's going..
he forgot about a lot of things..
he talks to himself..
and sometimes he talks to my late grandma's pictures(omg..that is scary..beyond crazy)
i think that he should get married..
huhu..
i've been hearing Byul - I think i love you since 5 hours ago..
i don't why am i still not bored with that song..
i guess i'm bored anything would do..
i think i know what to put the title of this post..yay!!!
at last i can think now..
i think i should go to sleep..but..
i'm not yet sleepy though..
maybe caused i slept from 5pm till 9 pm..
haha..
i was tired..
and i'm having my period..
so0 it wasn't wrong for me to sleep right..
i know it is not really go0d sleeping through dusk..
but i was tired..(is that a really good reason??haha)
anyway i think i have run out of things to write..(not really..i have alot more..but that's enough for now..)
hope my craziness doesn't rub on u guys..(if that could happen..i think alot of people would be crazy by now..haha)
hope u guys enjoy what i've been babbling about in this post..
hehe..
bye2.. ( for now..hehe.. ;P)
I Think I Love You
It can't be
It's not possible
That's what i told myself
There's no way that i'm in love with you
It's just jealousy, I must be lonely
I tried fooling myself
But now i can't hide it anymore
I think i love you
It must be true
Cause i miss you
When you're not around
I can't do anything
I keep thinking about you
Seeing how thing are..i know
I'm falling for you
I didn't realize it
Now i need you
All of the time
Now i understand that
somehow you've already grown deep
In my heart
They say we're not suited for each other
That it's better for us to just be friends
From one to ten
We can never agree on anything
How can we be in a relationship?
When everyone says we can't last
Their words have been in my thoughts
But i don't want to think about it anymore
I think i love you
It must be true
Cause i miss you
When you're not around
I can't do anything
I keep thinking about you
Seeing how thing are..i know
I'm falling for you
I didn't realize it
Now i need you
All of the time
Now i understand that
somehow you've already grown deep
In my heart
Why i didn't realize what i felt about you immediately?
Why didn't see you when you were just in front of my eyes?
That whole time you were just beside me all along
Why didn't i realize
That i've loved you all along
I think i love you
That's what it seems
Cause i miss you
When you're not around
I can't do anything
I keep thinking about you
Seeing how thing are..i know
I'm falling for you
I didn't realize it
Now i miss you
All of the time
I can see now
That you've grown deep in my heart
and i've loved you all along
Byul (English Version)
Sunday, April 3
Secret Admirer
Oh, secret admirer
When your around the autumn feels like summer
How come you're always messing up the weather?
Just like you do to me
My silly admirer
How come you never send me bouquet of flowers?
It's whole lot better than disturbing my slumber
If you keep knocking at my door
Last night in my sleep
i dreamt of you riding on my counting sheep
Oh how you're always bouncing
Oh you look so0 annoying
Dear handsome admirer
I always think You're a very nice fellow
But suddenly you make me feel so0 mellow
Every time you say hello
And every time you look at me
I wish you vanish and disappear into the air
How come you keep on smiling
Oh! You look annoying
My secret admirer
I never thought my heart could be so0 yearning
Please tell me now why you try to ignore me
Cause i do miss you so0..
Mocca
Saturday, April 2
0oh migraine
i've been having migraine since my period started..
which was 3 days ago..
if i could put a bullet in my head just to stop the pain..seriously i would..
huhu..
i red online that migraine is a very painful headache that increase a persons sensitivity to light and sound..
yeah even i don't have a headache and i watch a very bright light could make me have a headache..
other that that migraine can last for hours or days..
huhu..
MIGRAINE SYMPTOMS
1.Moderate to severe pain, usually confined to one side of the head(yup)
2.Pulsing throbbing head pain(got it)
3.Increasing pain during physical activities(have it)
4.inability to preform regular activities due to pain(usually have this)
5.Nausea(nope)
6. Vomiting(regularly)
7.Increase sensitivity to light and sound(yes definitely have it)
WHAT CAUSES MIGRAINE
1. Allergies (i do have allergies but just to dust..and i don't think that i've got migraine bcoz of that)
2.Bright lights, loud noises and certain smell of perfume (i don't recall seeing bright lights these last 3 days,loud noises definitely no..and perfumes have never benn a problem)
3.Physical or emotional stress (a definite maybe)
4.Changes in sleep patterns (definitely not)
5.Smoking or exposure to smoke (Nope)
6.Skipping meals (yeah right..i've benn eating non stop these 3 weeks)
7.Alcohol (yup definitely NOT)
8. Menstrual cycle fluctuation, birth control pills and hormone fluctuations during menopause onset (a big fat YES..my period was late by 3 weeks..3 whole weeks)
9.Tension headaches(nope don't got them)
10.Food contain tyramine, MSG and nitrate(i ate alot of MSG before this but it doesn't always cause migraines)
11.And other food such as chocolate, nuts, peanut butter, avocado, banana, citrus, onions, dairy products and fermented or pickled foods (nope haven't have any of that in months..except for milk that goes with my cereal)
I red that all of this doesn't usually causes the migraine to burst..but avoiding it doesn't also help to prevent migraine though..
HOW TO TREAT AND PREVENT
There are many ways to prevent and treating migraines such as preventive migraine medications, ranging from diet changes and exercise to prescription drugs. Some of these include :
1. prescription Beta Blockers, Anticonvulsants and also Antidepressant
2.Botulinum Toxin A (Botox)
3.Herbs and vitamins such as butterbur, cannabis, coenzyme Q10, feverfew, magnesium citrate, riboflavin, B12, melatonin
4.Surgery that severs corrugator, supercilii muscle and zygomaticotemporal nerve in the brain
5.Spinal cord stimulator implantation
6.Hyperbaric oxygen therapy
7.Vision correction
8.Sleep, exercise and sexual activities
9.Visualization and self-hypnosis
10.Chiropractic care or acupuncture
11.Special diets such as gluten free
there are so0 much thing that could be tried to reduce, prevent and treat migraine..but taking a lot of medication can cause rebound headaches..
hope one of this could help me treat this migraine that i'm having right now..
huhu..
i can't stand it..
hurts a lot..
well hope this info could help some of you out there...
which was 3 days ago..
if i could put a bullet in my head just to stop the pain..seriously i would..
huhu..
i red online that migraine is a very painful headache that increase a persons sensitivity to light and sound..
yeah even i don't have a headache and i watch a very bright light could make me have a headache..
other that that migraine can last for hours or days..
huhu..
MIGRAINE SYMPTOMS
1.Moderate to severe pain, usually confined to one side of the head(yup)
2.Pulsing throbbing head pain(got it)
3.Increasing pain during physical activities(have it)
4.inability to preform regular activities due to pain(usually have this)
5.Nausea(nope)
6. Vomiting(regularly)
7.Increase sensitivity to light and sound(yes definitely have it)
WHAT CAUSES MIGRAINE
1. Allergies (i do have allergies but just to dust..and i don't think that i've got migraine bcoz of that)
2.Bright lights, loud noises and certain smell of perfume (i don't recall seeing bright lights these last 3 days,loud noises definitely no..and perfumes have never benn a problem)
3.Physical or emotional stress (a definite maybe)
4.Changes in sleep patterns (definitely not)
5.Smoking or exposure to smoke (Nope)
6.Skipping meals (yeah right..i've benn eating non stop these 3 weeks)
7.Alcohol (yup definitely NOT)
8. Menstrual cycle fluctuation, birth control pills and hormone fluctuations during menopause onset (a big fat YES..my period was late by 3 weeks..3 whole weeks)
9.Tension headaches(nope don't got them)
10.Food contain tyramine, MSG and nitrate(i ate alot of MSG before this but it doesn't always cause migraines)
11.And other food such as chocolate, nuts, peanut butter, avocado, banana, citrus, onions, dairy products and fermented or pickled foods (nope haven't have any of that in months..except for milk that goes with my cereal)
I red that all of this doesn't usually causes the migraine to burst..but avoiding it doesn't also help to prevent migraine though..
HOW TO TREAT AND PREVENT
There are many ways to prevent and treating migraines such as preventive migraine medications, ranging from diet changes and exercise to prescription drugs. Some of these include :
1. prescription Beta Blockers, Anticonvulsants and also Antidepressant
2.Botulinum Toxin A (Botox)
3.Herbs and vitamins such as butterbur, cannabis, coenzyme Q10, feverfew, magnesium citrate, riboflavin, B12, melatonin
4.Surgery that severs corrugator, supercilii muscle and zygomaticotemporal nerve in the brain
5.Spinal cord stimulator implantation
6.Hyperbaric oxygen therapy
7.Vision correction
8.Sleep, exercise and sexual activities
9.Visualization and self-hypnosis
10.Chiropractic care or acupuncture
11.Special diets such as gluten free
there are so0 much thing that could be tried to reduce, prevent and treat migraine..but taking a lot of medication can cause rebound headaches..
hope one of this could help me treat this migraine that i'm having right now..
huhu..
i can't stand it..
hurts a lot..
well hope this info could help some of you out there...
Friday, April 1
To My New Bestie..
i met this girl in facebook..
and yeah..she is so0 friendly...
we commented with each other for three days now..
and yesterday..
i red her blog that she wrote about me..
aww...she is so0 sweet..
no one has ever post anything about me in their blog (that i know of)
(and if they do..i hope they posted nice things about me..hehe..but if they don't then whatever..i don't care...)
she said the nicest thing about me.. (even my own bf doesn't post anything about me in his blog..go figure)
we have so0 much in common..
we like the same things (including Barney in how i met your mother)
she is just so0 awesome..hehe..
we have the same attitude..
we are just like two peas in a pod..
even she's a year younger..(which means i'm older..huhu..thought i would never said that word 'older'..haha)
but still..she is really like this other person..that is just like me...weee~
i wish us would be Best Friends Forever..
i am so0 glad that we met..
Besties Forever.. (^_^)
and yeah..she is so0 friendly...
we commented with each other for three days now..
and yesterday..
i red her blog that she wrote about me..
aww...she is so0 sweet..
no one has ever post anything about me in their blog (that i know of)
(and if they do..i hope they posted nice things about me..hehe..but if they don't then whatever..i don't care...)
she said the nicest thing about me.. (even my own bf doesn't post anything about me in his blog..go figure)
we have so0 much in common..
we like the same things (including Barney in how i met your mother)
she is just so0 awesome..hehe..
we have the same attitude..
we are just like two peas in a pod..
even she's a year younger..(which means i'm older..huhu..thought i would never said that word 'older'..haha)
but still..she is really like this other person..that is just like me...weee~
i wish us would be Best Friends Forever..
i am so0 glad that we met..
Besties Forever.. (^_^)
Wednesday, March 30
Hey Gurlz...
This is dedicated to my dear beloved friends and to all the girls that are being man handled (emotionally or physically) by their boyfriends or lovers..
please girls be firm..don't be flimsy..
don't let him make your decision for you..
you have the right to speak up about your relationship with him..
guys take advantage when we don't put our guards up..
i know sometimes when we're in love we lower our guards down without even knowing or realizes it
that is why we need to make the guys know that we are who we are..
they have no rights to change you..
no rights to hurt or harm you in anyway
and if he does hurt you leave him (emotionally)
but if hurts you physically tell someone you can trust n of course leave him
i advise to all girls that don't give to much chances to these guys..
cause they will take you for granted..
they will think that if they did something wrong next time..
they can escape next time with another chance
(i've been through this so0 many times..so0 that is why i advise you not to make the same mistake that i've made..i gone through it the hard way and i don't want you to experience it to0.)
make guys understand that love and forgiveness is something that they have to earn..
so0 that they wont make the same mistake again..
so0 that they would cherish you more..
and think before they act..
but if the relationship is impossible to fixed..
then you should just leave them..
it is not worth it..
i know it is hard to leave someone that you love more than ever..
but it is for your own good..
don't be with a guy who doesn't appreciates you..
who doesn't care for you..
who doesn't love you as much as you loved him..
because the end result would be catastrophic if you don't leave him..
you will be the one that would get hurt..
leaving a guy that you love is tough..
i know..
but don't cry over it..
don't stuff your face with food or ice cream (which i usually do)
just go out..
hangout with your friends..
have a makeover (that would make him regret for ever hurting you)
have fun while you're still single..
meet someone new..that would surely help
and don't ever look back..
what is in the past..stays in the past..
don't dwell on the past..
that would just destroy you..(that i learnt from my bf)
in my own opinion love should be like a midsummer's evening..
something that is beautiful
make your feel warmth inside
it should be something that comes naturally
not forced..
and something that is so0 captivating that it literally takes your breath away
that is what i think love and being in a relationship is..
not being tortured by one another..
so0 to my besties that is having boy problems hope that this will help you..
please girls be firm..don't be flimsy..
don't let him make your decision for you..
you have the right to speak up about your relationship with him..
guys take advantage when we don't put our guards up..
i know sometimes when we're in love we lower our guards down without even knowing or realizes it
that is why we need to make the guys know that we are who we are..
they have no rights to change you..
no rights to hurt or harm you in anyway
and if he does hurt you leave him (emotionally)
but if hurts you physically tell someone you can trust n of course leave him
i advise to all girls that don't give to much chances to these guys..
cause they will take you for granted..
they will think that if they did something wrong next time..
they can escape next time with another chance
(i've been through this so0 many times..so0 that is why i advise you not to make the same mistake that i've made..i gone through it the hard way and i don't want you to experience it to0.)
make guys understand that love and forgiveness is something that they have to earn..
so0 that they wont make the same mistake again..
so0 that they would cherish you more..
and think before they act..
but if the relationship is impossible to fixed..
then you should just leave them..
it is not worth it..
i know it is hard to leave someone that you love more than ever..
but it is for your own good..
don't be with a guy who doesn't appreciates you..
who doesn't care for you..
who doesn't love you as much as you loved him..
because the end result would be catastrophic if you don't leave him..
you will be the one that would get hurt..
leaving a guy that you love is tough..
i know..
but don't cry over it..
don't stuff your face with food or ice cream (which i usually do)
just go out..
hangout with your friends..
have a makeover (that would make him regret for ever hurting you)
have fun while you're still single..
meet someone new..that would surely help
and don't ever look back..
what is in the past..stays in the past..
don't dwell on the past..
that would just destroy you..(that i learnt from my bf)
in my own opinion love should be like a midsummer's evening..
something that is beautiful
make your feel warmth inside
it should be something that comes naturally
not forced..
and something that is so0 captivating that it literally takes your breath away
that is what i think love and being in a relationship is..
not being tortured by one another..
so0 to my besties that is having boy problems hope that this will help you..
Monday, March 28
Wreckage
Are we here to pretend
Well i don't think that i am
But you're surely are
All the times that we spent
Were just burnt into dust
Do you care?
Will you care?
Would you ever really cared?
I regret that i put
All my love into you
Thought you cared and you felt the same way
But i was fooled
BY my own blinding love
How could I've let this happened?
How could i blindly fallen in love?
How did i let you in?
All is confusing
Cause love makes us that way
Even though, it's just me who is in love
Now how does our story goes?
How would it end?
Neither you and i ever know
Well i don't think that i am
But you're surely are
All the times that we spent
Were just burnt into dust
Do you care?
Will you care?
Would you ever really cared?
I regret that i put
All my love into you
Thought you cared and you felt the same way
But i was fooled
BY my own blinding love
How could I've let this happened?
How could i blindly fallen in love?
How did i let you in?
All is confusing
Cause love makes us that way
Even though, it's just me who is in love
Now how does our story goes?
How would it end?
Neither you and i ever know
Saturday, March 26
Strawberry Waltz
Disregard what we know
Well your voice is so slow
Will i stay
Will i go this evening
See the light on the rail
Reflect red off the tail light
In front of us
Slowly leading
Heed my warning my darling
Don't let the twilight drown
Feel the shoreline thriving
Turn around
Turn around
Turn around
Well we pull of the road
Sinking slow, sinking slow
And the gravel recedes into dust
And the unfaithful sun
Went to burn all alone
Just to love, just for love
Just for plain simple love
Heed my warning my darling
Don't let the twilight drown
Fell the shoreline thriving
Turn around
Turn around
Turn around
Heed my warning my darling
Please don't let the twilight drown
Fell the shoreline thriving
Turn around
Turn around
Turn around
Meg & Dia
Friday, March 25
I'll Find Mine
Where is the laughter
I saw a picture
You looked so happy
When i saw when you with her
And i'm so glad i knew you before you met her
So i know
How guys are before they get her
I've got it down
You've showed me again
Just so you know
Don't push me around
I know you resent that i'm alone
Pity and mercy
Do nothing for me
You know me better than anyone
Go get your girl
She's looking at you like you're crazy
We can pretend you never even knew me
It would workout
Don't let go of that one
I'll find mine
Run into you
Every time i walk out my door
Oh, it's precious
You've never held my hand like that before
No need to stop and wave
You stay calm and i'll be brave
Don't ever look down on me
Don't ever feel bad for me
I've got it down
You've showed me again
Just so you know
Don't push me around
I know you resent that i'm alone
Pity and mercy
Do nothing for me
You know me better than anyone
Go get your girl
She's looking at you like you're crazy
We can pretend you never even knew me
It would workout
Don't let go of that one
I'll find mine
Oh, find mine
Find mine
Look at me, look at me
I've got time to find
Mine (4x)
I've got it down
You've showed me again
Just so you know
Don't push me around
I know you resent that i'm alone
Pity and mercy
Do nothing for me
You know me better than anyone
Go get your girl
She's looking at you like you're crazy
We can pretend you never even knew me
It would workout
Don't let go of that one
And I'll find mine
I'll find mine
I'll find mine
Meg & Dia
Roses
Turn around there's those eyes again
Turn around fake indifference and I
Watch their cold, dark silhouettes disappear
A hundred bodies fill this room
And all their faces overdone
Pain is foreign, foreign to us
I don't even know you
You won't even know i'm gone
Was it something i did wrong?
Roses, roses cold
Roses, roses sold out
Turn around reds and whites again
i'd sell my kicks for one more low tar
Fevers hand in hand with shoelace bracelets
Why some girls so naive
He didn't unbutton your blouse to see
A better view of your heart
Oh yeah, can't blame you from trying
Turn around fake indifference and I
Watch their cold, dark silhouettes disappear
A hundred bodies fill this room
And all their faces overdone
Pain is foreign, foreign to us
I don't even know you
You won't even know i'm gone
Was it something i did wrong?
Roses, roses cold
Roses, roses sold out
Turn around reds and whites again
i'd sell my kicks for one more low tar
Fevers hand in hand with shoelace bracelets
Why some girls so naive
He didn't unbutton your blouse to see
A better view of your heart
Oh yeah, can't blame you from trying
I don't even know you
You won't even know i'm gone
Was it something i did wrong?
Roses, roses cold
Roses, roses sold out
Roses, roses cold
Roses, roses sold out
Sing it soft
Make it slow
Apples parachute the boys back down
Fill it up
Overflow
A new, improved modern way to feel
I don't even know you
You won't even know i'm gone
I don't even know you
You won't even know i'm gone
Was it something i did wrong?
Was it something i did wrong?
Was it something i did wrong?
Meg & Dia
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